Steve, just like Gary and Lawrence, you need to be more clear and specific. There is not enough info in these thumbs to really understand what’s going on. They should read from a far quickly. To test it out, ask someone around you what they see in your drawing without you telling them what it is, and see if their descriptions match your intent.

Narrow down your directions and take it from there. Choose 2 pieces and tie down the story and what you’re trying to say in the scene. Its good to think of the compositions as simple, broad shape like you’re already doing, but overall, you need to be more specific. When you block in a mass, think about how that shape effect the negative space around it. Think about shape size and how that adds to your story telling. Think about camera angles, eye level, etc. Again, refer to the 5 C’s if you have the time. Take a look at the thumb I posted for an example.

-Nino